Time is (not) on my side

As a CFF school, we have a position called "CFF Coach," who is someone who is available to assist the other teachers on staff with integrating technology into their lessons. Currently, I only coach half time, and I do not feel as if I am doing a good job as a Coach (even though I have gotten positive feedback from my teachers). Here are a few reasons why I feel this way:
  1. I still teach half the day. If a student shows up during my coaching time seeking help, I will stop what I'm doing to help them. This could mean that I put off doing research for a teacher or stop in my own personal professional development.
  2. Personal professional development. I do a lot of this. There is so much to learn out there, and at times I feel as if I know a lot, and other times I feel as if I know nothing. Being a half-time coach, I only have so many hours in a day to learn the new things I need to learn.
  3. I can't meet with all of my teachers. I teach when they're free. They teach when I'm free. When am I supposed to sit down with them to discuss integrating technology? Who is going to guide these teachers? If they don't receive the guidance they need, will they be able to do the things that teachers who have had a chance to work with me?
  4. My two positions interfere with each other. I'm a CFF teacher, which means I am also my own CFF Coach. But that also means that when there is a full-day CFF function I must attend (Boot Camp, local CFF curriculum days, PETE&C, etc.), I am not in my classroom. I have already missed 9 days in the classroom due to CFF, and have at least 8 more. 17 instruction days where the teacher isn't there? And then, the day after I am out, I often have to reteach the lesson that was to be covered while I was out.
I don't know how we do it with me as a half-time coach. It wasn't as bad when I only had the math and English teachers to work with, but now I have to try and find time to work with the science and social studies teachers, too. When will I do this when I didn't have time when I only had half the teachers to work with? What about other tech issues that come up and neither our building tech or tech director are available?

I don't worry often, but this is one thing that has had me worried a lot lately. I can't handle being a half-time coach, half-time teacher. I can't devote enough time to either position to feel I am giving 100%. That's not fair to my students. That's not fair to my teachers. That's not fair to my school district. That's not fair to me.

No comments: